Monday, July 03, 2006

Personal Jesus (Depeche Mode)

Language: Dutch

I believe it was Stan who, years ago, described Depeche Mode to me as "the group to listen to when you want to hear religious themes raised but not addressed in any meaningful way." That's not a direct quote, but that's the gist.

Probably "Blasphemous Rumours" is the best example of this, but "Personal Jesus" runs a close second, unless I'm forgetting something.

That said, I have been making an effort for a while not to draw attention to particularly odd results from Babelfish, on the grounds that it's like yelling the punchline and then telling the joke. ("Let me tell you this great joke. The punchline is, And then Mariah Carey says, 'Oh, that's okay, it's not really a dolphin, either!' But it starts out, A priest, a rabbi, and Mariah Carey are in a rowboat. . . .")1

But there's no way I can resist pointing out "You must confess things on your udder." 'Cause that's just awesome, even if it seems more like it would have been more appropriate in "Milkshake," which I did a few days ago.


1Anybody who can write a serviceable (= "funny") version of a joke that starts out, "A priest, a rabbi, and Mariah Carey are in a rowboat," should contact me immediately. You don't have to use the above punchline as your punchline. The first such joke I receive is worth $10 to the writer. No purchase necessary. Some restrictions may apply. Offer void to residents of AL, NC, ND, OK, SC, TX, and where prohibited by law. E-mail me for full contest details: send a blank e-mail with the subject line "Mariah Carey joke."

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Hear your own personal Jesus. To
someone who prayed, your someone,
your own personal Jesus
gives to hear someone pray. Your someone

who is unknown there feels
only flesh, leg, and you, all by the telephone, alone.
I will take you to a believer. Lift the recipient; make

my best test put
to the second.
You must confess
things on your udder.

I will provide;
I am your forgiver.

Range and home:
your personal Jesus.

To feel is unknown, and
you own your belief. From
range and contact, belief is
only flesh and leg. By all the telephones,
I will turn and lift the believer recipient.
With whom will I provide you? A forgiver? I
alone am into you.
From range and contact: belief.
(your own personal Jesus)
From range and contact: belief.

1 comment:

stan said...

This is so great.

You're going to let us use a few of these in our upcoming first issue of Fold magazine, right?

You better. Or I'll kick your butt!