If I Had Boats (Lyle Lovett)

Language: Russian

Work is going okay. I guess. Kinda. Home is the bigger stressor now, because the objects in it have a bad tendency to move around, or disappear, or turn into other objects, while I'm at work. I'm not saying I'm the world's best housekeeper or anything, but when I lived by myself and needed to find something, I always could. This is not the case in the new place.

Rearranging furniture relaxes the husband, he says, and it stresses me out. So there's, like, a fundamental difference in priorities, or ability to handle change, or something. He says that it's going to stop soon, once everything finds a place, but we've been living here now for about six weeks, and it's accelerating, if anything. Objects we debated placement of for a week are packing their bags and leaving entirely, just as I get used to them. My own stuff mysteriously detaches itself from its electrical outlets. This has all been discussed previously, more than once, but doesn't seem to be working.

So having a boat to go out on is appealing, even though I never really learned how to swim. Not sure how I feel about the pony: it would have had more appeal when I was a little girl. But the boat -- it would be nice to be able to go someplace where things didn't move around or vanish or mutate unless I wanted them to. Even if it were a very small boat, and I occasionally had to shovel some manure.

-Jessi

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If I had a boat, then
I'd go out on the ocean,
and if I had a pony,
it would go on my boat.
And we would be able to hold everything together
and go out on the ocean:
me on my pony, on my boat.

If I were Roy Rogers
(who I'm assured would be single),
I couldn't bring him to marry Dale.
It'd be me, launching
us to the movies. You'd go
after this; we'd purchase them a boat
and sail at sea.

If I had a boat,
then I'd go out on the ocean,
and if I had a pony,
I'd be on my boat with it.
And our smog, all together,
would go out. On the ocean,
on my boat: me on my pony.

Smart men were secretly disguised;
they obtained Tonto,
which made the free work dirty, Tonto reasoned.
But Tonto was smarter
in the daytime, and said,
Kiss my ass, kemosabe,
I purchased a boat,
I'm outside in the sea.

If I had a boat,
then I'd go out on the ocean,
and if I had a pony,
I'd be on my boat with it.
And our smog, all together,
would go out. On the ocean,
on my boat: me on my pony.

If I were as lightning,
I'd have sneakers.
I'd arrive, and go
wherever I pleased.
And I'd frighten 'em away by the shadow shaft,
and I'd frighten 'em away by the bright pole,
but I wouldn't frighten away my pony
on my boat, at sea, outside.

If I had a boat,
then I'd go out on the ocean,
and if I had a pony,
I'd be on my boat with it.
And our smog, all together,
would go out. On the ocean,
on my boat: me on my pony.