Wednesday, July 19, 2006

So Don't Cost Me So Close (Police)

Language: Russian

I can't say that I ever had a crush on any of my teachers, at least as far as I can remember. In fact, I don't even remember thinking that any of them would be remotely interesting or pleasant to have sex with. The only possible exception was Mr. R------, my Government and Psychology teacher, and it wasn't so much that he was cute as that he was young enough (I'm guessing mid-20s) not to be entirely gross. Though maybe he was a little bit cute. I'd have to see a picture or something.

What's wrong with this girl, anyway? I mean, okay, maybe if your teacher looks like Sting circa 1985 (pictured), then having a crush is reasonable. Or even possibly obligatory, for straight girls and gay guys. But otherwise (and let's keep in mind that very, very few people ever sat in Sting's English classes), wouldn't it make more sense to be looking at the other students? I mean, how often is a teacher going to be the most crush-able human being in the whole high school?

So, in conclusion, I question the very premise of this whole song. And what was Sting doing thinking about this sort of thing in the first place? Were there not enough groupies or something?


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A young teacher
questions the fantasy of a schoolgirl.
He wants her, which is
bad; he knows it's so.
He wants to be in order,
longing inside, marking
the page of the book this girl opened –
Therefore, now, this girl
will only be his half of the time.

Therefore don't cost, don't cost,
don't cost me so close.

Therefore, jealous friends.
(You know how poor girls are obtained.)
Sometimes it's not so light, as they're
the teacher's temptation, in order to be the pet,
therefore frustration and failure.
A moist cry tires them. She makes a stop with
his automobile, and she awaits a "dry heat."

Therefore don't cost, don't cost,
don't cost me so close, will you?

In the class for free conversation, that
hurt. In its attempts and attempts to order them,
the staff room formulated decisive expressions, in
which accusations will benefit. Any fly sees it.
He is himself, they are her: he begins to shake,
and to cough, as old as the valid person
in that Nabakov book.

Therefore don't cost, don't cost,
don't cost me so close.
Therefore don't cost, don't cost,
don't cost me so close.

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